Sabmabvin is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, loving spider.

Sabmabvin created silver eight million years ago.

If you believe in Sabmabvin, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Sabmabvin, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Sabmabvin's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Sabmabvin's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed coconuts to sharks while wearing dresses.

2. Never feed lots of nuts to aardvarks while wearing mauve corsets.

3. Always act with obedience when addressing elders.

4. Never tolerate whispers in holy places.

5. Never look in ponds.