Gessrilquill is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, temperamental rhinoceros.

Gessrilquill created the planet Earth eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gessrilquill, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gessrilquill, he will throw large rocks at you.

Gessrilquill's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Gessrilquill's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Gessrilquill's name in vain.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Gessrilquill in the centre of the settlement.

4. Always cleanse your hands after touching copper.

5. Never look at planets.