Titmumquag is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, dishonourable human.

Titmumquag created the solar system three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Titmumquag, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Titmumquag, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Titmumquag's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Titmumquag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill sheep.

2. Always keep your back turned to the north at sunset.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never think about quantum field theory.

5. Always help bats.