Jiggovflab Ditfigxuc Aftalsag is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, contented gerbil.

Jiggovflab Ditfigxuc Aftalsag created humankind seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Jiggovflab Ditfigxuc Aftalsag, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Jiggovflab Ditfigxuc Aftalsag, he will torture you forever.

Jiggovflab Ditfigxuc Aftalsag's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Jiggovflab Ditfigxuc Aftalsag's Holy Commandments

1. Always store peanuts above ground.

2. Never touch oil while blessed.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Always remove hats before touching aluminium.

5. Always check lakes for frogs.