Labsakcad is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, all-knowing dragonfly.

Labsakcad created matter five million years ago.

If you believe in Labsakcad, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Labsakcad, it will turn you into a rat.

Labsakcad's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Labsakcad's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove boots before touching lead.

2. Labsakcad loves birds, so they must be honoured.

3. Never feed lemons to tortoises while wearing purple scarves.

4. Worship no other gods but Labsakcad.

5. Never hurt eagles.