Pidteengof is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, uncaring clam.

Pidteengof created dark energy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pidteengof, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Pidteengof, it will turn you into a tree.

Pidteengof's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Pidteengof's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never speak aloud of signs.

3. Never mention capybaras.

4. Do not skip in public.

5. Never travel toward the east during autumn.