Hanomindag is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, resourceful raccoon.

Hanomindag created an electron two billion years ago.

If you believe in Hanomindag, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Hanomindag, he will turn you into a worm.

Hanomindag's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Hanomindag's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Hanomindag.

2. Do not utter prayers while touching silicon.

3. Never go into green rooms.

4. Never allow birds to sleep beneath your roof.

5. Erect a giant black sculpture of Hanomindag in the centre of the settlement.