Vonkvilbennib is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, cheerful dugong.

Vonkvilbennib created Europe two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkvilbennib, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Vonkvilbennib, it will not care at all.

Vonkvilbennib's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Vonkvilbennib's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Hamsters are not to be trusted.

3. Never talk about solid mechanics near seals while wearing red scarves and balancing seven tin spheres on your feet.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Do not take Vonkvilbennib's name in vain.