Targlakbap is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, thoughtless jellyfish.

Targlakbap created gold nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Targlakbap, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Targlakbap, she will turn you into a hamster.

Targlakbap's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Targlakbap's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in the presence of capybaras.

2. Never talk about asteroids.

3. Never discuss enzymes in public assemblies.

4. Do not speak sacred words in autumn.

5. Never think about thermodynamics near rats while wearing purple stockings and balancing seven iron spheres on your legs.