Tonkyarwipapp is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, benevolent scorpion.

Tonkyarwipapp created tapeworms two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonkyarwipapp, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Tonkyarwipapp, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Tonkyarwipapp's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Tonkyarwipapp's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in summer.

2. Do not prepare beans while wearing stockings.

3. Always cleanse your hands after touching titanium.

4. Do not fashion tools from aluminium.

5. Do not wear white clothing.