Konflatcutnel is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, awe-inspiring lobster.

Konflatcutnel created Asia five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Konflatcutnel, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Konflatcutnel, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Konflatcutnel's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Konflatcutnel's Holy Commandments

1. Never discuss eukaryotes in public assemblies.

2. Retreat if eight birds approach from the south.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never speak at midnight.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.