Gedlargtarg is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, stupid naga.

Gedlargtarg created a Higgs boson four billion years ago.

If you believe in Gedlargtarg, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Gedlargtarg, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Gedlargtarg's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Gedlargtarg's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate eagles.

2. Do not prepare carrots while wearing rings.

3. Do not gather at towers at dusk.

4. Do not hurt gulls.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gedlargtarg.