Vonfliglargart is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, thoughtless pigeon.

Vonfliglargart created the planet Earth two years ago.

If you believe in Vonfliglargart, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Vonfliglargart, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Vonfliglargart's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Vonfliglargart's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never pray while filled with anger.

3. Always keep your back turned to the south at sunset.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not name children after tortoises.