Hatcussjat is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, sage fox.

Hatcussjat created carbon four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hatcussjat, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Hatcussjat, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Hatcussjat's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Hatcussjat's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Hatcussjat in the centre of the settlement.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. You must pray to Hatcussjat six times a day.

4. Always make sure there are no snails in a room before entering it.

5. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.