Vagdosshak is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, witless frog.

Vagdosshak created dark matter three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vagdosshak, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Vagdosshak, it will turn you into a tree.

Vagdosshak's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Vagdosshak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak of dark matter near sacred fires.

2. Never talk about quantum mechanics.

3. Never feed apples to dogs while wearing boots.

4. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Vagdosshak on top of all buildings.

5. Never allow birds to witness sacred rites.