Tadcarlap is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, compassionate duck.

Tadcarlap created carbon seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tadcarlap, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tadcarlap, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Tadcarlap's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Tadcarlap's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Tadcarlap four times a day.

2. Do not step barefoot upon orange earth.

3. Do not eat oranges.

4. Never think about black holes.

5. Always help capybaras.