Quaf is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, happy raccoon.

Quaf created a bottom quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Quaf, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Quaf, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Quaf's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Quaf's Holy Commandments

1. Remain prostrate during prayer.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

3. Always act with humility when addressing children.

4. Quaf must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.