Flaphub Hitquagtarp is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, dishonest cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Flaphub Hitquagtarp created a top quark two years ago.

If you believe in Flaphub Hitquagtarp, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Flaphub Hitquagtarp, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Flaphub Hitquagtarp's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Flaphub Hitquagtarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about thermodynamics.

2. Always cleanse ash with water.

3. Never speak of fate in the presence of priests.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Always keep your back turned to the south at sunset.