Ruttbumfet is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, humorless cow.

Ruttbumfet created light eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Ruttbumfet, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Ruttbumfet, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Ruttbumfet's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Ruttbumfet's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never remain prostrate at midday.

4. Never speak of balance in the presence of priests.

5. Ruttbumfet must be the most important thing in your life.