Tikcubcit is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, merciless snail.

Tikcubcit created a charm quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tikcubcit, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Tikcubcit, it will be very sad.

Tikcubcit's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Tikcubcit's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak of chaos in the presence of strangers.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never think ill of sick badgers.

4. Never leap in holy places.

5. Always act with obedience when addressing priests.