Tigfunkam Biddussarm is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, almighty armadillo.

Tigfunkam Biddussarm created an atom five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tigfunkam Biddussarm, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Tigfunkam Biddussarm, she will not invite you to parties.

Tigfunkam Biddussarm's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Tigfunkam Biddussarm's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chant in public.

2. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in yellow.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not prepare grapes while filled with joy.

5. Never wear purple shoes on sacred days.