Somjippark is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, loving giraffe.

Somjippark created light eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Somjippark, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Somjippark, she will turn you into a frog.

Somjippark's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Somjippark's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear dresses.

2. Do not prepare tomatoes while wearing coats.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near grasshopers while wearing mauve scarves.

4. Always make sure there are no rats in a building before entering it.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.