Dimhitsas is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, resourceful human.

Dimhitsas created Asia six billion years ago.

If you believe in Dimhitsas, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dimhitsas, he will destroy your favourite star.

Dimhitsas' most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Dimhitsas' Holy Commandments

1. Always maintain patience during days of mourning.

2. You must never eat cucumbers.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not place onions upon stone.

5. Always cleanse your hands after touching nickel.