Vilgupfit is a god.

She takes the form of a small, omniscient capybara.

Vilgupfit created everything that exists two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vilgupfit, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Vilgupfit, she will turn you into a goat.

Vilgupfit's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Vilgupfit's Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse water with water.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never gather eight gulls near doors.

4. Learn five new languages a year.

5. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in turquoise.