Stragfossfutyak is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, emotional warg.

Stragfossfutyak created humanity three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stragfossfutyak, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Stragfossfutyak, she will turn you into a mole.

Stragfossfutyak's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Stragfossfutyak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never touch blood while blessed.

3. Never chant while facing west.

4. Never mention seals.

5. Do not study horizontal gene transfer on holy days.