Tigmifpit is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, ill-tempered sheep.

Tigmifpit created the Black Eye Galaxy five million years ago.

If you believe in Tigmifpit, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tigmifpit, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Tigmifpit's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Tigmifpit's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from red eagles, for they are unholy.

2. Erect a giant brown sculpture of Tigmifpit in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never think about quantum gravity near badgers while wearing fawn stockings and balancing six gold spheres on your hands.

4. Do not travel during spring.

5. Do not fashion tools from nickel.