Cisstabciss is a god.

It takes the form of a large, moody beaver.

Cisstabciss created bats two million years ago.

If you believe in Cisstabciss, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Cisstabciss, it will turn you into a hamster.

Cisstabciss' most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Cisstabciss' Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Cisstabciss' priests.

2. Never talk about optics near great tits while wearing red dresses and balancing four tin spheres on your hands.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Erect a giant white sculpture of Cisstabciss in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not listen to music.