Hasflatveg is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, contented snake.

Hasflatveg created an atom seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hasflatveg, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Hasflatveg, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Hasflatveg's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Hasflatveg's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear trousers.

2. Never eat cucumbers.

3. Do not consume bread at dawn.

4. Always obey Hasflatveg's priests.

5. Do not fashion tools from platinum.