Nurlstanbot is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, weak dolphin.

Nurlstanbot created the Sun six million years ago.

If you believe in Nurlstanbot, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Nurlstanbot, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Nurlstanbot's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Nurlstanbot's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Never write about dark energy.

3. Nurlstanbot loves great tits, so they must be respected.

4. Hide if five pigs approach from the north.

5. Do not kill birds.