Absistap is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, calm chicken.

Absistap created the Sol system four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Absistap, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Absistap, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Absistap's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Absistap's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear yellow scarves on sacred days.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate goats.

3. Never cross crossroads at dawn.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not speak sacred words in spring.