Fasced Pidbemdad is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, sage fairy.

Fasced Pidbemdad created carbon seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Fasced Pidbemdad, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Fasced Pidbemdad, she will turn you into a worm.

Fasced Pidbemdad's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Fasced Pidbemdad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Always help sick tortoises.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fasced Pidbemdad.

5. Do not speak of the weak nuclear force near sacred fires.