Larptigquat is a god.

He takes the form of a small, contented crocodile.

Larptigquat created a down quark four years ago.

If you believe in Larptigquat, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Larptigquat, he will destroy your home planet.

Larptigquat's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Larptigquat's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity near capybaras while wearing green rings.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Larptigquat must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.