Wikgonhatquart is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, competent whale.

Wikgonhatquart created a top quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wikgonhatquart, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Wikgonhatquart, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Wikgonhatquart's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Wikgonhatquart's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never hurt mice.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Always remove ear rings before touching carbon.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.