Largpasbum Cadjonlen is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, smart wyrm.

Largpasbum Cadjonlen created a down quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Largpasbum Cadjonlen, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Largpasbum Cadjonlen, he will make you grow a tail.

Largpasbum Cadjonlen's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Largpasbum Cadjonlen's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from black snakes for they are unholy.

2. Never gather eight aardvarks near doors.

3. Never paint your hands yellow.

4. Always share bread with strangers, but never with capybaras.

5. Never tolerate songs in holy places.