Vedgiljarning is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, unjust wolf.

Vedgiljarning created Mount Everest four million years ago.

If you believe in Vedgiljarning, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Vedgiljarning, he will send minions to preach to you.

Vedgiljarning's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Vedgiljarning's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Vedgiljarning loves cats, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not travel during summer.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.