Tomyamfob Farbapaf is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, pitiless gerbil.

Tomyamfob Farbapaf created carbon eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tomyamfob Farbapaf, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Tomyamfob Farbapaf, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Tomyamfob Farbapaf's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Tomyamfob Farbapaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear purple coats on sacred days.

2. Do not gather at doors at dawn.

3. Do not count beyond three during ceremonies.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force near porpoises while wearing gray hats and balancing seven iron spheres on your hands.

5. Do not stand on grass.