Vinyogtetti is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, passionate tapir.

Vinyogtetti created the planet Saturn six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vinyogtetti, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Vinyogtetti, she will try to impress you with trees.

Vinyogtetti's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Vinyogtetti's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear shorts marked with red.

2. Never paint your neck indigo.

3. Never handle carbon while unclean.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate mice.

5. Never speak aloud of names.