Vogbellnur is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, quiet mouse.

Vogbellnur created the world five million years ago.

If you believe in Vogbellnur, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Vogbellnur, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Vogbellnur's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Vogbellnur's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not utter prayers while touching nickel.

3. Never point your face toward the south during prayer.

4. Never stain your back with blue.

5. Do not prepare peanuts while wearing jumpers.