Xentailjig is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, dishonest gerbil.

Xentailjig created the universe four billion years ago.

If you believe in Xentailjig, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Xentailjig, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Xentailjig's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Xentailjig's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never record numbers.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Xentailjig in the centre of the settlement.

5. Always stare at clouds.