Sascamfob is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, quiet aardvark.

Sascamfob created Mount Everest seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Sascamfob, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Sascamfob, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Sascamfob's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Sascamfob's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Do not fashion tools from silicon.

3. Never speak of balance in the presence of children.

4. Sascamfob loves otters, so they must be respected.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.