Diddamflanzen is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, cheerful ferret.

Diddamflanzen created Mount Everest five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Diddamflanzen, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Diddamflanzen, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Diddamflanzen's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Diddamflanzen's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about gravity.

2. Always help sharks in need.

3. You must love Diddamflanzen.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Always pray immersed in water.