Feb is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, ruthless slug.

Feb created light two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Feb, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Feb, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Feb's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Feb's Holy Commandments

1. Always store lentils above ground.

2. Worship no other gods but Feb.

3. Never wear brown jumpers.

4. Always treat horses with great respect.

5. Never think about nebulae.