Bancepveg Zimarmwig is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, cheerful salamander.

Bancepveg Zimarmwig created a photon seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bancepveg Zimarmwig, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Bancepveg Zimarmwig, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Bancepveg Zimarmwig's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Bancepveg Zimarmwig's Holy Commandments

1. Never hop in the presence of elders.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate shrews.

3. Always act with patience when addressing children.

4. Never feed garlic to doves while wearing dresses.

5. Never hurt aardvarks.