Hitlikpom is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, omnipotent duck.

Hitlikpom created life nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hitlikpom, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Hitlikpom, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Hitlikpom's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Hitlikpom's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in the presence of elders.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never allow monkeys to sleep beneath your roof.

4. Do not speak of special relativity near sacred fires.

5. Hitlikpom loves pigs, so they must be honoured.