Fumtiplak is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, unsympathetic hare.

Fumtiplak created a down quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Fumtiplak, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Fumtiplak, she will be mildly annoyed.

Fumtiplak's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Fumtiplak's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Fumtiplak loves badgers, so they must be respected.

3. You must never eat bananas.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate cats.

5. Do not eat lemons.