Abfunvig is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, fast aardvark.

Abfunvig created the Andromeda Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Abfunvig, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Abfunvig, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Abfunvig's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Abfunvig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

2. Abfunvig loves great tits, so they must be honoured.

3. Always keep your back turned to the south at sunset.

4. Always face the north before speaking sacred words.

5. Always treat dogs with great respect.