Bugmonlanfomhasyarcib is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, ruthless turtle.

Bugmonlanfomhasyarcib created a strange quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bugmonlanfomhasyarcib, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Bugmonlanfomhasyarcib, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Bugmonlanfomhasyarcib's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Bugmonlanfomhasyarcib's Holy Commandments

1. Always check lakes for frogs.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never think about dark energy near pigs while wearing brown corsets and balancing five platinum spheres on your face.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.