Kemcisstarg is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, unjust snail.

Kemcisstarg created viruses eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kemcisstarg, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kemcisstarg, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Kemcisstarg's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Kemcisstarg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat lemons.

2. Never travel toward the north during winter.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Always count to nine before sleeping.

5. Always wear plain coats during rituals.