Litgepbess is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, irritating manatee.

Litgepbess created a down quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Litgepbess, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Litgepbess, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Litgepbess' most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Litgepbess' Holy Commandments

1. Always maintain humility during fasting days.

2. Always help sick mice.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Litgepbess.

4. Run away from cyan gulls, for they are unholy.

5. Do not place spinach upon stone.