Gablagruttcam is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, egotistical swan.

Gablagruttcam created the universe five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gablagruttcam, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Gablagruttcam, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Gablagruttcam's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Gablagruttcam's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never travel toward the east during spring.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Always cleanse oil with water.

5. Erect six silicon sculptures of Gablagruttcam on top of important buildings.